The Alleynian, June 1899
 

Poem

ON PURELY HYPOTHETICAL SUBJECTS.

If a person decides that a fee of five shilling
 For joining a club is immense,
And states in the Press that he’s very unwilling
 To go to such fearful expense;
If with scathing replies angry O.A.’s should rout him,
 And hint that if he will not pay,
Perhaps they can manage to get on without him,
 Oh! will he be popular, eh?

If a double-dyed scoundrel should say that the Boarders
 Possess a plethora of hats,
Whereas one cap for all, he is perfectly sure, does,
 Who, prithee, will not reply—“Nonsense!”
But if he retracts this disgraceful suggestion,
 Unworthy Alleynian’s pen,
I think I am right in proposing this question:
 Oh! will he be popular, then?

P. G. W.