¹ (Petroleum, administered internally, is stated to be a cure for sea-sickness.)

I was never a genuine Viking;
 I hated the sight of the sea.
I own it was not to my liking;
 Dry land was more suited to me:
The waves, which to some seem bewitching,
 Aroused in me nothing but hate;
As soon as the ship began pitching,
 I gave myself up to my fate.

But that sort of thing is all over.
 With laughter and jocular quips
We’ll sail from Newhaven and Dover
 For long and enjoyable trips.
Yes, in future the sea-going man ’ll
 Embark with a heart that is light;
He’ll smile as he crosses the Channel:
 He knows that his prospects are bright.

The waves may rise higher than mountains,
 The gale may blow shrill from the East,
The spray may play o’er him in fountains,
 He will not object in the least.
As soon as the nauseous odour
 Of engines is borne on the breeze,
He’ll call for his petrol and soda,
 Will the latter-day lord of the seas.

Oh! praise to the man to whose cunning
 We owe this delightful release.
Where’er ocean liners are running
 He’s carried contentment and peace;
His name is revered in the steerage,
 It’s blessed in the gilded saloon.
I hope he’ll be given a peerage,
 Who gave us this marvellous boon.

P. G. W. 

“The ‘Homœopathic World’ claims that petroleum in two-grain powders is a sure preventative of sea-sickness. For this relief much tanks.” (Chelmsford Chronicle, November 6, 1903)
CURES FOR SEA SICKNESS. Many people put their faith in some carefully thought out form of diet. “What you want,” said a voyager once to a pallid friend, “is a pork chop.” The friend disagreed with him as thoroughly as the suggested panacea would have done. Dry biscuits are better, and as a beverage, brandy is popular, though a correspondent in a contemporary says that he has found petroleum more efficacious. Another cure has been exploited, which consists simply of gazing into a mirror. This is likely to become more popular than petroleum. – ‘Globe.’ (Probably PG’s, from a By the Way column)

—John Dawson