The Amateur Photographer
By P.G. Wodehouse
FUN Magazine, March 2, 1901
The eye is the eye of the forger,
The brow is the brow of the thief,
The mouth and the nose
Alike disclose
A wickedness past belief.
Tis a visage that proves its owner
A man of the basest stamp,
I haven’t a doubt
That he rides about
At night without a lamp,
Or travels without a ticket,
Or visits music halls:
His expression shows
That he often goes
To Covent Garden balls.
And-but what is that you are saying?
Ah, horror! Can it be
That this shocking disgrace,
With its hooligan face,
Is an excellent likeness of me!