COMING OVER
Vanity Fair (UK) (September 8, 1904)
(Mrs Carrie Nation proposes to visit London.)
Mrs Nation, your work at a distance,
Away beyond fathomless seas,
Has lent a fine spice to existence:
Your methods exhilarate, please.
Distasteful to those who are near you,
You’re loved and admired from afar;
We chuckle and grin when we hear you
Have visited somebody’s bar.
But, ah! our enjoyment is undone,
Our satisfied smiles disappear
When we read that you’re coming to London,
To look after publicans here.
Your raids in Topeka and Kansas
Appeared merely excellent fun:
In the Strand they would lose all romance, as
A joke that had been overdone.
Mrs ——, may I address you as Carrie?
Oh! pause, ere you visit us, pray:
Reflect how much good, if you tarry,
You may do to the great USA.
For them whet the edge of your hatchet,
Exhibit your wonderful powers;
If somebody’s destined to catch it,
Their need is much greater than ours.
Does America harbour no cocktails,
And draw no detestable cork?
Have you ceased, then, to hear, with a shock, tales
Of the gilded saloons of New York?
There’s work for you there. Quite enormous
Are the ills it’s your duty to fight.
Oh! ere you attempt to reform us,
Just see that the Yankee’s all right.