Mrs. Nation, when you hankered
 To administer a blow
To the alcoholic tankard,
 And to crush the bowls that flow,
I approved the happy notion,
 Watched your efforts with delight.
My affection for “the lotion”
 (As they call it) is but slight.

But, oh dear! your latest movement
 Fills my soul with keen dismay.
In your passion for improvement
 You would take our pipes away.
But, unless you simply hate us,
 Can you ponder undismayed
On the horrors that await us
 At the end of the crusade?

Take your enterprising hatchet
 To some more deserving curse.
Our tobacco, if you snatch it,
 Must give place to something worse.
While you war against the “soakers”
 I applaud, but oh! refrain
From reducing honest smokers
 To an after-dinner cane!

P. G. W.