Madame Eulalie’s Rare Plums

[Certain doctors maintain that the best way to prevent indigestion is to whistle without a pause for a quarter of an hour after dinner.]

In days gone by, when meals were o’er,
To guard ourselves from ill,
The black, unpleasant draught we’d pour,
Or bolt the azure pill.
But now we’ve found, it seems to me,
A trick that’s better far.
We are a happy family,
We are, we are, we are!

A whistled tune, MDs have found,
All tonics will eclipse.
So volumes of the richest sound
Stream from our pursed-up lips.
Each chooses his own melody,
There’s not the slightest jar.
We are a happy family,
We are, we are, we are!

My father renders“Nancy Lee”,
My mother “Dolly Grey”.
My sister, in a different key,
Works hard at “Sail away!”
My brother tries“Abide with me”,
(Six faults to every bar).
We are a happy family,
We are, we are, we are!

And as the cheery notes arise,
And soar towards the roof,
Fell indigestion quails and flies,
Dyspepsia holds aloof.
Our health, as far as I can see,
Continues up to par.
We are a happy family,
We are, we are, we are!