The Alleynian, July 1907

 

Cricket.


 

Dulwich College v. Brighton.

To G. L. Betham, Esq.

Dear Betham,—You and McCormack nearly let us down by being away from the Brighton match. Your hundred up for the first wicket would have come in useful. As it happened, we just pulled it off after an extraordinary game.

Brighton batted first, and, the ball being wet and the wicket easy, started off at a fine pace, Malleson and Tinsley doing all sorts of things to the bowling. Nelson and Meade started, but neither could get a length, and there ought to have been a change earlier. Later, Firth and Gasson had a try, but it was not till Nelson went on again instead of Firth that the first wicket fell. Coleman caught a splendid catch at the wicket. (Solid man, Coleman. Kept finely all through.) 88 for 1. With our entire troupe of bowlers bowling like cripples trying to do the Nashville Salute, the outlook seemed gloomy. But mark the sequel. At 89 Sheringham was run out, and 94 Nelson, with a slow ball of consummate cunning, clean bowled Malleson, whose 64 had been a great innings. His leg shots were fine. At this point began a weird collapse. Nelson’s cunning became perfectly diabolical. It was an eerie sight to see him start to bowl fast, slow down, creep up to the crease, and drop a sort of Schwartz-Vogler delivery. Two more wickets fell at 94, two at 96, and two at 103. The last wicket added 9, and then Coleman brought off another brilliant catch somewhere in the neighbourhood of point. Total 112. 88 for 1 and all out 112 must be a record for the ground. Our fielding was good, no catches being dropped. The last man out, by the way, was Castle, the second wicket man. Nelson got 5 for 75. Clark and Nelson opened for us, and after Clark had played a maiden from the fast man, Nelson put up an easy catch to slip off E. L. Turner, a slow left-hander with a swerve. Garrett followed, and started with a confidence which was just what we needed. For a time it looked as if he and Clark, who was playing well, might knock off the runs. But at 40 E. V. Welch bowled Clark with a good ball. Keddie joined Garrett and began playing beautifully. As regards style, Keddie is undoubtedly the Main Squeeze. Unfortunately, when he had got 12, he failed to get hold of one and was caught at mid-on. So far the excitement was not intense. With Garrett batting excellently at one end it seemed unlikely that we should be extended. Hill’s departure was disturbing, but Lamb looked steady, and Garrett continued to force the game. The thing became really serious when Garrett, whose 39 was one of the best innings I have seen him play, was caught in the deep at the third attempt. He had behaved in all respects like a solid man, and deserved to make a century. Firth now joined Lamb, and Lamb joined the crowd in the pavilion. This left us with about 50 to get and four wickets to go down. All depended on a stand. Another wicket at this juncture and we should be done for. Thomson and Firth rose to the occasion nobly. Firth maintained a solid defence, and Thomson got a couple of fours to leg. We were beginning to get the upper hand again, when Thomson tipped one into slip’s hand, and retired for a very useful 12. A minute later Brighton were on top again. Gasson was deceived by a swerve and clean bowled. The situation was now desperate. To add to our troubles, it became nearly pitch dark at this point. The bowling and fielding were very keen, but Firth and Meade handled the crisis in a masterly manner. Firth continued to bat with wonderful coolness, and Meade was It from the first ball. The score mounted slowly, a run at a time. The excitement among the spectators was intense. School Prefects trembled like aspens. Juniors fainted. Lance-Corporals in the Corps plucked nervously at their moustaches. A drive for a couple by Firth and a single by Meade sent up 110, and then Meade, lashing out at a no-ball, sent it skimming to the leg boundary, and we had won.

Meade was lbw shortly after this. Coleman hit about for a few minutes, and then the rain came on. Firth not out 18, Coleman not out 12.

Firth’s innings was simply great. So was Meade’s. At these sort of crises singles are worth sixes. 18 not out and 13 will not look large in the table of averages, but we wanted them badly just then.

Yours sincerely,

P. G. Wodehouse.

 

Score and analysis:—

Brighton College.

W. M. Malleson b Nelson    …  …  …  …  ……  …   64
J. Tinsley c Coleman b Nelson    …  …  …  …  ……  …   28
A. I. Sheringham run out    …  …  …  …  ……  …     1
A. B. G. Castle c Coleman b Gasson     …  …  …  …  ……  …   12
M. H. Clarke b Nelson     …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
A. I. Carr lbw b Nelson    …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
D. T. Mackintosh run out    …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
C. G. Thornton b Garrett    …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
E. V. Welch c Clark b Nelson     …  …  …  …  ……  …     6
J. S. Welch b Garrett      …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
E. L. Turner not out    …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
  Extras    …  …  …  …  ……  …     1
Total …  … 112

 

Dulwich College.

F. S. Clark b E. V. Welch    …  …  …  …  ……  …   18
G. C. F. Nelson c Tinsley b Turner     …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
L. Garrett c Thornton b J. S. Welch    …  …  …  …  ……  …   39
C. M. Keddie c Carr b J. S. Welch      …  …  …  …  ……  …   12
H. C. N. Hill b Turner     …  …  …  …  ……  …     2
C. W. Lamb b J. S. Welch    …  …  …  …  ……  …     1
J. C. Firth not out    …  …  …  …  ……  …   18
C. L. Thomson c Tinsley b E. V. Welch    …  …  …  …  ……  …   12
L. B. Gasson b E. V. Welch      …  …  …  …  ……  …     0
H. R. C. Meade lbw b E. V. Welch     …  …  …  …  ……  …   13
E. C. Coleman not out    …  …  …  …  ……  …   12
  Extras    …  …  …  …  ……  …     6
Total …  … 133

 


 

Not entered by Wodehouse in Money Received for Literary Work, so presumably written gratis for his alma mater’s magazine.

Notes:
Wodehouse twice refers to American slang terms popularized by George Ade. See this item’s notes for more on “cripples trying to do the Nashville Salute.” Ade used “the Main Squeeze” in the sense of “leader,” as in his 1896 novel Artie: A Story of the Streets and Town; this is apparently what Wodehouse means by the term as well. The other slang sense of Main Squeeze, meaning lover or spouse (i.e., the person one hugs most), seems to have been a later development.
Major Reginald Oscar “Reggie” Schwartz (1875–1918) and Albert Edward Ernest (“Bert” or “Ernie”) Vogler (1876–1946) were South African cricketers, known as “twisting bowlers…with a leg-break action [who could] make the ball come in from the off” (Baily’s Magazine, March 1908); later sources refer to them as googly bowlers.
W. M. Malleson of Brighton College is better known as the British actor and playwright Miles Malleson (1888–1969), perhaps best remembered as the hangman in Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949) and as Dr. Chasuble in The Importance of Being Earnest (1952). In 1933, Malleson adapted Summer Lightning for the British and Dominions Film Corporation, and played the role of Beach in the film.

Transcription and notes by Neil Midkiff