All the Fun.

Vanity Fair (UK), November 3, 1904

(Special trains are being run to take people to see the eruptions of Vesuvius.)

IF you want a day’s enjoyment
   Then a ticket you should book
To the foot of Mount Vesuvius:
   You can purchase them from Cook.
Better take a stout umbrella,
   ’Twill be useful by-and-by,
When you’ve reached your destination,
   And the sparks begin to fly.

Better look where you are treading,
   For the ground is rather hot;
It was here that several tourists
   Frizzled up upon the spot.
On your right you see the crater
   Shooting lava to the sky;
You must dodge and duck like winking
   When the sparks begin to fly.

And as homeward you are trudging,
   On your badly-blistered feet,
With a tongue that’s parched and cracking
   Through exposure to the heat,
As the doctor with his finger
   Drags the cinders from your eye,
You’ll be glad that you were present
   When the sparks began to fly.



Printed unsigned in Vanity Fair; entered by Wodehouse for this date in Money Received for Literary Work.