The Books of To-day and the Books of To-morrow, June 1906

The Premier to the Suffragettes

ASK me no more: I’m sorry if you’re vexed;
I’ve seen your point and deeply sympathised.
You think it is a shame? I’m not surprised:
But, to return politely to my text,
Ask me no more.

Ask me no more: don’t have hysterics, pray!
Don’t wave umbrellas quite so near my head!
As Joseph has it, what I’ve said I’ve said;
I can but add, in the old familiar way,
Ask me no more.

Ask me no more: the moon may draw the sea,
The corkscrew from its lair extract the cork;
A pickle may be hooked out with a fork
But four small words are all you’ll draw from me,
Ask me no more.

Ask me no more. What answer should I give?
I might reply, discreetly, “Well, I’ll see,”
Or, rudely, thrill you with a big, big D.,
And strengthen with some sulphurous adjective,
Ask me no more.

Ask me no more: why raise this horrid gale?
Why—ah! they’ve gone! Next time, beyond a doubt,
My butler shall inform them that I’m out.
Thus only shall I make it sure that they’ll
Ask me no more.



Printed unsigned; entered by Wodehouse in Money Received for Literary Work.


THE WOMEN AND THE PREMIER. For many months the woman suffragettes have been dogging his footsteps like sleuthhounds. Nowhere has he felt himself safe. At his political meetings they have made themselves so noisily conspicuous as to necessitate their ejection as public nuisances. The have besieged the door at 10 Downing Street and had to be forcibly removed by stalwart policemen. The premier made a supreme effort on Saturday to get rid of their embarrassing attentions by receiving nearly five hundred of them at the Foreign Office. They were met with plenty of expressions of sympathy, but after that a plain declaration that nothing could be done for them by the Government. The Premier may well feel uneasy as to what they may do next. (Dundee Courier, May 21, 1906)