Daily Chronicle, June 18, 1903

(A Somersetshire publican, on becoming bankrupt, gave as the cause of his insolvency that all the village had turned teetotal.)

Whenever you the bowl that flows,
 Turning a virtuous back, shun,
Say, have you thought what dreadful woes
 Proceed from such an action?
The time has come, teetotal friend,
 To alter your proclivities,
Your deleterious ways to mend,
 And plunge into festivities.
The publican, the same as you,
 Has got to earn his living.
Teetotal friend, consider, do,
 What pain to him you’re giving.
To shun intoxicating drink
 May be, I own, my brother, wise.
Such conduct sensible I think.
 The publican feels otherwise.
If, all considered, man was meant
 To flee from dissipation,
He couldn’t even pay his rent,
 And buy his daily ration.
To him your views—though, I repeat,
 Myself I hold them sensible—
Mean that he can’t make both ends meet.
 He thinks them indefensible.
It doesn’t matter—not a jot—
 If blotches mar your beauty.
To help your fellow-man is what
 Is your most pressing duty.
So don’t refuse the draughts that cheer,
 Forget there’s any sin in it,
And when you take your gingerbeer,
 Oh, take, I prithee, gin in it.

P. G. W.