Daily Chronicle, October 15, 1903

[It is proposed to found a system of scholarships by which every child will be encouraged to work hard. The bard has endeavoured to depict one result of the system.]

My life was far from gleesome
 In days—thank goodness—gone;
There always seemed to be some
 Disturbance going on.
From earliest morn to sundown
 The noise declined to cease:
I felt completely run down;
 I knew no sort of peace.

For Tom would be contending
 With Jack in strenuous “mill,”
While screams, the silence rending,
 Issued from Sam and Bill;
And Jim was busied chiefly
 In smashing Edward’s toys.
They made, to put it briefly,
 A most infernal noise.

Now Tom has ceased from fighting,
 And Jack will hardly speak;
They’re both too busy writing
 Their “English into Greek.”
At Euclid Bill and Sam are;
 French prose engages Jim;
While Edward’s Latin Grammar
 Monopolises him.

Result, I’m twice the man I
 Was once. Though I admit
The silence seems uncanny,
 I’m growing used to it.
My lot I wouldn’t barter
 For millions down, because
No more am I a martyr
 To headaches, as I was.

P. G. W.